Communicate non-violently - 1

Introduction

Is it possible in this complicated world not to use any kind of violence, during communication between people? This question intrigued me, on one part on the personal level, because, how much times I lost my temper, due to aggressive people or fanatic ones or dogmatic persons, with whom I indulged in a conversation for one cause or another. On the other part, I wondered if there is another way to solve conflicts between groups of people, instead of using any power? Sure during history, there were examples of not using violence in order to solve a deep problem, like the prominent example of Ghandi who was empty handed, with his followers, advocating non-violent resistance , that led the British Empire to dismantle its occupation of the whole Indian subcontinent. And despite that he was assassinated on the hands of a fanatic. What concerns me in this essay, is the violence that we use between each other while communicating during daily life. Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, an American psychologist developed a process of non-violent communication in 1984. And since then, the number of trainees in the process has ever grown throughout the world. Dr. Rosenberg has used his method to mediate in armed conflicts around the world and even went to very dangerous places around the globe where violence was rampant.
He and his school have written many books, essays, given workshops to teach the method, given interviews, and participated in events discussing the process. Dr. Rosenberg has written a book called: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life © Marshall B. Rosenberg, 2003, published by PuddleDancer Press. I have read the translation of this book in French. It is an excellent book. This aroused my interest to search more about non-violent communication on the Internet, and read interviews and essays and excerpts from writings of Dr. Rosenberg himself in English. This was more explanatory. It is strange how can a process such as this, is so logic which needs us to be more empathic, can’t be used everywhere. (To be continued...)

A short life story

He was born fearless, nothing on his mind, innocent and crystal pure. After birth, difficulties started to build up, even milk was not a cure. Growing further, he began to realize he was different, gifted but lonely. He was not fitting well in his life, but got along somehow diligently. One day good, one day bad, what can we expect, he is poor and sad.
He was taught how to read, how to right and he proved to be bright. Sensing loneliness, lacking warmth, only mother cared for his plight. Outside home, many people treated him good with comprehension. At home, the boy entered in a world that he invented mostly in books. He felt joy, also sorrow, for his heroes yet imagination was the help.
His tantrums broke out, angry as he felt, always apologizing for any hurt. Everybody demanded him perfection, although they were all out of touch. Many blamed him for trivial faults, and attacked his naive mistakes. The boy felt as if a curse was cast on him, for no reason, but destiny. Astonishingly , he found himself enchanted with music, movies and colors.
Time passed, he got fearful, preoccupied, not so innocent, and unsure. Delved into books, he tried to find answers that nobody possessed . Gradually realized he had open mind, and sensed changes that occurred . No real friends, that was a bad spell, but it was only one straw in a misery pile. Seems he needed a magic wand to turn his life on and to light his dark sky
But the poor didn’t found the good fairy on the ground, and hoped well. Knowledge, became his big interest, nothing could calm him as a book .Nature’s beauty was a bless to him, healing him always after any break . Wise words began to show him the way after many bumps and wounds. And he is still enchanted, loving life, and helping others even if he suffers.

Under the gray sky

This is my new poem

Under the gray sky

Under the gray sky a small man moves his feet
Beside the same buildings he buries his misery
Looking front and sides he gets along aimlessly
Fearing any shadow behind the corner


Under the gray sky the small man gradually is relieved
As the fresh breeze slaps gently his face
He gathers hope as if he gathers blossoms
Smells enthusiasm like perfumed roses



Under the gray sky the growing man is self-discovering
Digging deep in his past to excavate his weaknesses
Astonishingly he founds diamonds in the dust of his existence
Brushing these gems , his eyes were taken by their beauty


Under the clearing sky the grown man finds his way
The sun is getting up slowly, throwing away its shackles
Oh that is not the sun we know, but the sun within him
He gets back to real life after a prolonged coma, fully alert

The meaning of life!

Hello:
Life is not percepted in the same way by every individual, this is what I have gathered during my hitherto voyage on the face of the earth. Alfred Adler, a prestigious Austrian psychologist and founder of the school of individual psychology, born 1870 and died 1937, has written a classic book in German which was translated into many languages including Arabic, it was called in the English version(What Life Could Mean to You). This is an enlightening book that is worth the effort, time taken to read it.

Discovered by chance!

Hello:
To my astonishment, I found that there is a music album called (Memoirs of a common man) performed by the Australian rock band called (Antiskeptic), and was released on June 2002. So it was released after the inception of my blog with the same name in which I published my first post on the 8th of March 2002. Is it a coincidence?

Solving a personal problem

Solving a personal problem

I am presenting here my own way to solve a personal problem in a very simple set of questions. So I presume one can ask him/herself these questions to find a relief from a trouble.

1. Is it a real problem or is it an illusion?
2. Why is it a problem?
3. Can I live with the problem as it is without trying to alter it?
4. Can the problem be thrown all together in the trash?
5. What are the elements of the problem?
6. How many ways are there to solve the problem?
7. What is the scenario for each solution?
8. What is the cost of every solution?
9. Is the solution permissible by local and international laws?
10. Is the solution acceptable socially?
11. Is the solution offending to family members?
12. Is the solution troubling to colleagues?
13. Is the solution realistic or idealistic?
14. Are there unwanted side effects to the solution?
15. Will be any collateral damage with the solution?
16. Is the solution painful?
17. Will the solution be considered an error in the future?
18. Can a time frame be drawn for the solution?
19. Who can help?
20. Can a specified plan of action be implemented?
21. What is the alternative solution if the first one fails?
22. What are the marks of success of the solution?
23. Are there shortcuts for speedy success?
24. When to stop thinking about the problem?
25. When to consider the dossier closed?

The half-lit street

My first English poem :
Yesterday, it was Saturday 28th of October 2006, I wrote my first English poem. I hope it will have some standard, and it is only the beginning. Here it is :


The half-lit street

In the half-lit street, a small man walks prudently
Not misanthropic, not shy but he is a fearful guy
Shunning faces, avoiding eyes as civility implies
Yet piercing eyes invade him and his heart cries

In the half-lit street, the small man walks lonely
Not psychopath, not mad but he is a thoughtful guy
Preferring quietness, loving flowers and butterflies
Yet he is not fitting in his existence so he sadly sighs

In the half-lit street, the small man walks silently
Not snob, not brewing evil but he is a wise guy
Analyzing his bad deeds and mistakes that everybody denies
Yet he knows that he is weak and poor so he tells white lies

In the half-lit street, the small man walks lightly
Not defying gravity, not slimming but he is a modest guy
Asking why some play rough but are really weaker than flies
Yet he endeavors to struggle and pulls himself from the plies

In the half-lit street, the small man walks expectantly
Not lazy, not complacent but he is a perplexed guy
Welcoming any humane move and tend to bolster ties
Yet he stumbles, gets cuts but soon the oozing wound dries

In the half-lit street, the small man walks happily
Not crazy, nor lunatic but he is an optimistic guy
Growing older, partially rejected but he fiercely tries
Yet he is wondering will life smile to him before he dies

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Blog remembered!

Hello!
I have really forgotten my blog and thought as if it has been wiped out or just even not existed virtually . But today when I was talking to a friend at work , our conversation drifted by chance to the ( Weblog ) phenomenon , and I remembered instantaneously my deserted blog . So I am here today again typing a new post and hope to get some feedback . The problem is that no one of my acquaintances knows or cares about blogging , so I am really disappointed as there appears to be no traffic to this site . May be someday , someone will answer this message in a bottle thrown in the large Internet sea . Let's cross our fingers !

My hopes!

Hope is always there!

Despite the fact that I fall frequently into despair, due to the unsurmountable day to day hurdles that I can't overcome, God's Mercy is always great. Glimpses of hope come from here or there, to give me the necessary momentum to keep on living. I will be someone prestigious one near day, renown for good deeds and wealthy enough to satisfy my needs and able to be productive to the full.

As usual!

It appears to me that I can't get rid of my old habits easily. One of these is to lose interest, and to get fed up over a short period of time whether in work or pastime. This is one of the reasons that I am not a frequent prolific blogger, which means a long interval for a new blog on this site. May be another reason, is that I am chronically depressed. Or, that I can't find a story that is worth telling to others. Despite the fact that I find (the Blogging Experience) psychologically relieving to my mind, I keep forgetting in the sort of living salad that I live in, that I do have a free blog, waiting there 24/7, for my new post. May be another important cause of my laziness, is that I figure that nobody else in the world is reading my posts, so why bother myself, with a fruitless undertaking. But the sure thing is that I love typing on the keyboard and see my ideas directly typed in front of my eyes, online. May be somebody will one day, help me writing a book, or the reverse that I can be his or her coauthor on a subject pertaining to the human dilemma on this Earth. Well who knows!