Communicate non-violently - 2

But what is the process of non-violent communication about?
It is that of the heart language between people not the head language. We have not to label people or put them in categories, but to harmonize with them. Everybody has the right to yes or no, and we have to accept both and to value the reasons behind, and either decision has to be made in an environment of freedom. No manipulation, no coercion, no blame, no deceit, no intimidation is allowed in order that the process can be applied in the true sense of the word.
The non-violent communication is a four-part process, that has the honesty during the conversation as the main background: so to state a request clearly
- I describe my observation : no criticism, no judgment
- I Identify my feeling ensuing from the observation
- Explain the reason for my feeling in terms of my needs
- State my request not demand
If the person gets stressed or upset I can switch into more listening

In responding to a no-situation we have to put the process into action like this:
(The main background here is empathy having the upper hand beside honesty)
· I Describe the situation
· I Guess the other person's feeling
· I Guess the reason for the feeling, together with the unmet need; then let the person verify whether I have correctly understood
· I Clarify the unmet need
We have during all this, to understand the other person’s needs and to respect his or her autonomy.

General rules are that we have to stay calm, no yelling, no screaming, no shouting back but listening and more listening to the other person. This process can be activated in any context of human relation, between husband and wife, father and son, daughter and mother, teacher and student, boss and employee, between friends even between strangers. Sure the language used must be the same and understood by everyone and body language, facial expressions, hands gestures also enter in the picture. It is a process that needs training, we are not born with it, but it may alter one’s life and of those surrounding him or her. Now I am applying this on myself, and it is proving fruitful. The non-violent communication is also used in major international conflicts and has shown happy endings. We have, in my opinion to consider the matter seriously, and read more about it and indulge more into its implementation.