Solitude, friend or foe?

Some people due to certain and different reasons, opt for living isolated in solitude. Causes differ from one person to another and from one situation to another. But in the end, solitude is the same. There may be a psychological trouble beneath the solitude if it is the choice of the individual. It may be the result of a personality disorder or a major depressive disorder. Or simply as a reaction to inconvenient social life with multiple spiritual traumas. It may be based on deep religious beliefs like the old Egyptian Christian monks who invented the idea of going to live in the desert alone in a very confined place in order to kill the flesh desires and get more divine inspirations, to worship the Creator, so as to become purer in their quest for becoming men of God.

Solitude can be temporary, or permanent. Creative men and women in arts and literature, choose solitude whether for a short period of time or for a long time in order to concentrate on a piece of creation: a musical work, a drawing, a novel, a book, or may be a statue. This can become a way of life, of a certain intellectual as a way of expressing his or her rejection to the current world. Susanna Tamaro, the Italian novelist with many best-selling novels, is doing this. The late Gamal Hemdan, the Egyptian intellect, the ex-academic, has secluded himself in his apartment, to write books and intensely read and research in Egyptian geography and history. Khairy Shalaby, the Egyptian novelist is doing this voluntarily retreat from the society, whenever he is writing a new novel, by isolating himself in the cemeteries of Cairo, seeking non-interruption, silence, and serenity. Mohamed 3abla, the Egyptian artist, has even built a house on the Korsaya island in the Nile, to get the isolation necessary for producing his fine art. So many intellectuals around the world do that.

Not only individuals select solitude but also groups of people do it for many reasons as well. Some for weird religious doctrine. Some for waiting and connecting with extra-terrestrials. Some to construct an Ithaca of their own or a paradise on Earth. All the three examples had occurred in fact in the United States of America. The results of them all were very fatal and lead to loss of lives and all sorts of abuses. Sometimes solitude can be a culture like what occurred in Japan, as some people propagated the idea that solitude is beneficial.

But solitude can be a bless, and friend and a tamed foe with less torture, at a time. But how? Solitude has to be of the own free will of the individual in order to achieve a certain goal in a certain period of time. It should not be imposed by any group for any reason whatsoever. Because it will not differ then from the confinement in a prison abiding to a law verdict for some wrong doing. Even if you want to read a book, finish a task, writing a poem, or studying, solitude can be the solution for short spells of isolation in a closed place. The person has to be connected with the surrounding people, be well informed, be interactive. He or she must keep an umbilical cord with the world and not be totally detached except for very short periods of time.

Loneliness

Is the presence of another person with an individual, important for the psychological well being of this individual or not? Can we live alone in an absolute solitude, and feel stable mentally and happy? Were individuals in the animal kingdom, especially mammals and particularly the Homo Sapiens species - also known as - the human being, were created to live apart, dispersed, separated and disconnected? If so why have the Creator provided us with external facial features, secondary sexual characters, why do we have a voice, why we have muscles in the face? And why have we been divided in two sexes? Can we live on a remote island, alone even if we are totally free and with all the basic needs and resources free available and easily reachable?

The answer is that the presence of another person with us, is so mandatory to live and survive. Let alone for mental stability and happiness. Moreover, a group of people, whether family, colleagues, neighbors or friends as long as they cooperate together, provide each other with support, security, material and spiritual well being.

Even Robinson Crusoe was not happy on his island. He sought companionship with animals by raising a small herd of goats, but this was not enough. On releasing Friday from cannibals, though being black man and savage, Crusoe founds in him a true human being. Despite being different in language, civilization, manners, religion, race, color, but he was a human despite all that. So to a blissful relief, Crusoe was in company of a fellow human being. But to overcome obstacles of communication, he started to teach Friday, English.

The wise Egyptian proverb says (A paradise without people, couldn’t be stepped in).

People are not foes or hell like once stated Sartre. For with people we exhibit our humanity, we fulfill ourselves, and complete our defects. We can’t fall in love with a tree or a rock if we are completely sane. It takes another person to find love, whether you are a man or a woman.

Loneliness is destructive to one’s psyche. It can prove also dangerous on the material side of life. Let alone, the loss of emotional life and sexual life. The lonely person can enter into a vicious circle of fears, worries, and depressions. This can be complicated if he or she doesn’t have friends or has cut off the ties with them. And worse if the person confines himself or herself into a place, never getting out except very seldom, the situation can get more gloomy. Getting out to see people in the streets, to breathe air, to feel the warmth of the sun, to feel the vibrations of the real life, to experience the hassle and the noise of the daily activities, is useful to the individual. Friends are a bless, but they have to be real ones so that they will be available to meet, interact, cherish. Communicating via phone, cellular, short messages, e-mails or written letters, can complement real life meetings between people and can be a psychological remedy in many instances.